Trudging down a familiar path

Too early to go home, yet too late to go anywhere else.

My feet led me to the nearest coffee shop. I entered with the ting of the bell and the familiar smell of donuts, coffee, and hot chocolate filled the place.

I ordered the usual. Who doesn’t want a choco butternut donut and an iced coffee on a rainy Monday afternoon? The combination of the iced caffeine and cold weather might be weird to some people, but it was definitely a go-to combo for me.

A few bites and sips later (with occasional peeks at the novel I’m currently reading), I was in and out of the shop.

I thought I took ages in there, but as I stepped out and into the streets, it was only 4:30pm.

Still too early.

I took the long way out and walked back home. Other than saving me some money, it also took more time to kill.

It was a familiar route. The streets were busy with the local jeepneys rushing to make their last trip for the day. Students were racing back home – or to who-knows-where. Kids were streaming out of the gates of my old high school and tires were skidding on the asphalt.

The sounds of dry leaves crunching beneath my feet made me remember the last time I went down this path three years ago. I was a shy, introverted, naïve girl who didn’t know what the future held. I had high hopes and dreams. But my low self-esteem had different plans for me.

Looking back, I laughed at the thought of my fifteen-year-old self with her head hung low, walking alone after a tiring high school day. Practically on the verge of quitting and giving up (with my grades plummeting and friends nowhere to be found) not knowing that after four years, she would be flying higher than she would have imagined. Nearing the end of her college years.

So, walk.

Keep walking down familiar paths. Down to where you once were. Retrace your footsteps and look how far you have come. How tall you grew. How long your hair has grown. How thinner or fatter you got. How much your voice has changed. How many friends you’ve lost and how many you’ve gained.

I started with a blank book and now most of the pages are filled. I know that I still have a long way to go, and I’m nowhere near giving up. My pen is ready.

I’ll end this the same way I started it.

It’s too early to call it quits.